My name is Aaron. I have high-functioning Autism Spectrum Disorder, depression, anxiety, insomnia, and anger management issues. Recently, I strongly considered finally taking my life. These thoughts are a pretty consistent companion for me, but they escalated enough that I thought I was actually going to do it this time. As such, I took myself to my local emergency department here in Australia, which resulted in me hopefully getting access to better access to mental health services.
Moving away from that; let’s consider the access to professional help side of this as being in the process of being taken care of; I’ve been pushing pretty hard on the soul-searching front since my hospital visit. I’ve been dealing with this for over twenty years, and enough is enough. In the lead-up to my hospital visit, during multiple relationship breakdowns; which were for the most part my doing; I made myself try consider things that were said by now ex-friends, usually in the heat of the moment, so the delivery wasn’t the best. I’m makng a concerted effort to try and consider the topics that were raised, mainly openness, being vulnerable, and shutting people out. Suffice to say that I was beyond resistant in even considering these things, but if my mental health is going to even have a chance of improving, all options need to be considered.
I started doing some research into the importance of being open and vulnerable, and the schools of thought on the matter. Being blunt, most of what I read made me want to vomit all over my computer screen, but deep down I need to accept that as my cynicism talking. I am VERY cynical. Ultimately, I thought I’d take a run at this openness and vulnerability business, and see where it leads me.
So, I’ll be exploring where things are at. While I do pull some punches, so I can publish things, this is going to be some pretty raw stuff. Although, I will admit that the way I write could come across as a little clincal and detached, but I am Autistic, that is how we do things. It should be noted, that there will be things I won’t be sharing, those things will be reserved for the counselling room, I’m hoping that anyone that will be tuning in will understand and respect that. I’m reasonably confident that my target audience will.
Bare minimum, apart from the self-exploration, what I’m hoping for is to increase public awareness. I’m also open to the possibility that students and/or professionals in the field might find what I’m sharing useful in their studies or furthering their craft.
Comments are welcome, and any support is appreciated. But I most likely won’t be responding, I don’t do social media anymore. A little ironic, given that I’ll be sharing on this blog.